Five Things Natasha Loves And One That Clint Taught Her to Love
by When In Doubt Smile
Summary: Natasha doesn't let many things get close to her heart, but there are five things that will always make her smile. Maybe six.
1. Snow

Disclaimer: Why do the Avengers have to belong to Marvel? WHY? And the picture doesn't belong to me. I can't find the artist again and so I can't un-crop it or give credit where credit is due. If anyone knows the artist, please let me know so I can credit them.

Snow

She still goes by Natalia Romanova and is happily living in Russia with her parents when Natasha falls in love with snow. After all, what's not to love? It's white and poofy and it doesn't hurt when you fall on it. She and her parents are simply walking along a deserted road when little white drops that look like fairies to young Natalia begin to fall to the ground, making a blanket with their tiny bodies. At first, the three year old refuses to take one more solitary step, afraid to crush the fairies that litter the ground. But with some coaxing from her parents, she takes a step. Then she starts to hear the fairies screaming (She's three after all, how is she supposed to know that it's a happy couple in the middle of a snowball fight shrieking with delight and not precious, white fairies screaming for mercy as they are crushed by an enormous monster in the form of a young girl?) Again Natasha freezes and stands, stubbornly telling her parents that she will NOT move. Her cheeks pink from cold and her curly, red hair whipping in the wind make her a sight to see. Her parents, who have finally come to terms with the fact that nothing would ever be able to make their daughter do something she didn't want to do, decide to try a different approach. Laughing, Natalia's father plucks her up from her place, spinning her through the air as she giggles hysterically. With their daughter in their arms, the young couple stomps over to a small cafe and orders hot chocolate. Over the course of four hours and eight cups of hot chocolate, Natalia's parents explain to her that snow is simply cold water droplets. Though still extremely skeptical of her parents, Natalia steps out onto the snow. She listens for the fairies, not breathing for fear. And she doesn't hear anything.

"It no fairies?" Natalia asks in her native language, a look of complete confusion and befuddlement on her innocent face.

"Nope. It's just water. See, it's already melting," her father, an ever patient man, explains.

"But it fall from the sky and fly, like fairies," Natalia protests weakly in a last-ditch effort to price her parents wrong and maybe, just maybe, get another cup of hot chocolate.

"Not everything is as it seems, Natalia. Sometimes we just have to trust that the people who love us know what to do better than we ourselves do," her mother offers. Little does she know that it will be the last advice she will give her beloved daughter.

So, with a dramatic sigh, Natalia takes her parents' hands and walks home. Once they're in the house, in warm, dry clothes, and drinking hot chocolate, Natalia stands up and proudly proclaims, " I love snow!" before promptly running and tackling her parents in a hug.

Years later Natasha, she no longer goes by Natalia, stands by a giant clock in Munich, Germany, soaked to the bone, exhausted, out of bullets, cornered by four men who would nothing more than to bring her body back to their boss, and completely and utterly out of options. If asked, she would admit that the snow that coats the ground is very beautiful, but she would also tell you that she has bigger things to worry about. _Where is he? _she thinks to herself frantically. Mere seconds later she hears the voice of her partner in her ear through the communication device as he orders her to jump as high as she can. She brushes off the idea immediately. His voice becomes more and more urgent as he tells her to jump again and again. After about the fourth time, Clint shouts into her ear, "JUMP!" And for the first time, Natasha looks up. But it's not a way out that she sees, but the gently falling snow. And instead of Clint's voice, she hears her mother telling her to trust that sometimes the people who love her know more than she does. So because she trusts her mother, Natasha jumps as high as she possibly can, the gently swirling snow falling around her.

Natasha always associates snow with the happy day she spent with her parents and the lesson she learned with them. She never thinks about the fact that two days later she would lose them. She just loves the feel of her parents' arms around her and the warmth of the mug in her hands. Natasha Romanoff, not matter what, loves snow.

Author's Note: I recognize that the above story is probably not all canon. I want to say that Natasha didn't have the best parents, but I can't remember and I didn't want to stop typing long enough to go and Google it. So, sorry if I'm more than a bit off. Hope you enjoyed the story anyway. There is more on the way (I actually have it all written, it just needs to be edited, _desperately._) Hopefully a new chapter will be posted each day and the next ones will be better than this. I love reviews and would be thrilled beyond belief if you would tell me what you think of my story. Thank you to anyone and everyone who took the time to read this story and this very random and rambling author's note. I'll be quiet now.

Be fantastic,

-When In Doubt, Smile


	2. Ballet

**Disclaimer: The Avengers aren't mine, they belong to Marvel, I wish they were mine, but I have to put this disclaimer here… wait a second. Does anyone else have a strange feeling of déjà vu?**

Ballet

It's hard to remember ballet many days. It hurts to love something as much as Natasha loves ballet. She turns down opportunities to see world-famous ballet companies with the Avengers. She secretly returns her Christmas present of beautiful, pink pointe shoes. She cries when she hears one of the sweetly familiar stains of Tchaikovsky tunes that followed her throughout her childhood. It hurts her to remember the feeling of spinning, precariously posed on the tips of her toes. Not because she no longer loves to dance, but because it's not the same. Natasha hates that she can't go back. That she can't close her eyes and be back in Russia, dancing the dance of her country. So when Fury gives her and Clint the mission to stop an underground gang run by a stage manager in Russia, Natasha agrees faster than Clint has ever known her to. Because what Clint doesn't know is that no matter how much she hates Russia for making her into the person that she is, Natasha loves ballet more.

Natasha quickly gains a part in the current ballet production and the dancing begins. Clint himself is left fearing that she has forgotten the mission they were sent to do. And then he sees her first performance while doing some additional surveillance on the gang leader. Her hair is kept tightly in a bun and she reminds him of a doll, perfectly posed on her toes, spinning so quickly that Clint's head hurts. Later, while they walk back to the apartment where they are staying, Clint asks Natasha why she loves ballet. She brushes him off and tells him that it's fun. Natasha has never, nor will ever, tell a larger lie.

Natasha Romanoff, super spy, assassin, the Black Widow, doesn't love ballet because it's fun. She loves the feeling of being free, of losing herself in herself. Natasha Romanoff lives for ballet because it reminds her what it is to love.

She never tells Clint that that is the reason she why she only goes to ballets when it's just the two of them. When she feels free to be in love.

**Author's Note: Yes, I know it was super short, but I really don't care because it had ballet in it and Natasha. I hope you liked this. I personally think it's a lot better than the one about snow. I am in love with every review I get, so anything you wish to tell me about my story will not be ignored, which means a better piece next time, and who wouldn't want that? Thank you for giving me and my writing some of your time.**

**Have a wonderful day,**

**-When In Doubt, Smile**


	3. A Warm Bed

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers. They belong to Marvel. Maybe I should kidnap them or something. That has potential… **

**I would like to thank everyone for the numerous follows and favorites I've gotten. It means so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

A Warm Bed

After far too many nights sleeping on the hard ground, Natasha has learned to appreciate the little comforts in life. Like a warm bed.

The first time she recognizes the brilliance of a warm, comfortable, welcoming, soft bed is when she finally understands that her parents were never going to come back. It is a hard blow, like nothing she has ever experienced. It hits her like a ton of bricks and leaves her fragile, little body on the ground, sobs making her quake until she was certain that she was going to explode from all the emotions running rampant through her. After she has finished crying, she crawls into her bed, only awake long enough to register that she has never been more grateful for the feel of her worn blankets and her mattresses that is already conformed for her body. Then she falls asleep, the moon shedding her precious beams on the broken child.

The second time Natasha realizes just how much she loves to have a real bed to sleep in is her first night at SHIELD. She has dragged herself to the room Fury has not-so-happily told her is hers and promptly falls on to the bed. The room is boring, it lacks that feeling of ownership; like SHIELD hadn't been able to decide whether or not they are going to keep her after all, or if they are going to execute her in the morning. (_Good night, Natasha. Good work. Sleep well. We'll most likely kill you in the morning, _Natasha thinks.) With a heavy sigh, she turns on her side to be met with a note, carved into the side of her possibly temporary bed. Written in the frame of the bed is the simple message: "Hello." Unable to remember the last time that someone had actually said hello to her, Natasha falls asleep, grateful for a chance to start a new life and real bed.

The third time Natasha falls in love with having a bed is the first time she sleeps without nightmares since her parents died, almost 15 years earlier. She's so exhausted she doesn't have the energy to think about how grateful she is until the next morning, when she wakes to find the sun gracing her with its rays.

**Author's Note: Points to anyone who can catch the reference I made and can tell me what movie it's from! Apparently, I need to stick to oneshots more than I thought I did. All the chapters are getting progressively shorter! (Gasp.) I appreciate reviews, so if you had any thoughts at all while reading this story, please let me know. Thank you for sticking with this story; it means a lot to me.**

**Laugh hard today,**

**-When In Doubt, Smile**


	4. A Proper Practice Fight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel, therefore I don't own the Avengers. I don't even own a copy of the movie. How sad is that?**

A Proper Practice Fight

"I never knew you had this much of a temper, Nat," Clint comments as Natasha throws yet another punch at her partner. They've been sparring for almost two hours now, and she has to admire Clint for his stamina. Very few can fight an angry Black Widow for this long.

Clint and Natasha are only just settling into the Avengers tower and already they have essentially claimed the workout room as they're own. And Natasha has never been more grateful for that fact.

Natasha's red hair flares out around her head as she spins, trying to catch Clint off balance, but years of training with Natasha and even more working with SHIELD have made Clint a little more difficult to beat than the average human being. The Russian really does have to admire her partner's bravery for agreeing to fight with her, even when she's sure he could tell that she was not in a good mood.

As Natasha fights she drowns out all other sounds. This is the first time she honestly wished she could hear every grunt and punch. Because if she's not hearing what is real, she's hearing what's fake; namely Loki, spitting out insults, calling her a child and mocking everything she has ever held dear. Loki being the first person to ever make her admit who she really is. No one had ever done that to her before Loki came. Everyone was content to let her believe what she wanted to about herself. She could believe she was flawed or that she was perfect. She could believe she was weak or strong. Aware or ignorant. Beautiful or hideous.

_Punch._

Russian or American.

_Punch._

Wicked or righteous.

_Punch._

Hateful or loving.

_Punch._

Deceitful or honest.

_Punch._

Guilty or innocent.

_Punch._

In love or not.

_Punch._

In love or not.

_Punch._

In love or not.

_Punch._

In love or not.

_Punch._

In love...

"Nat! Stop! You win! Just stop!" Clint shouts from his position on the ground. Natasha looks around her before slowly getting up and taking Clint's hand to help him to his feet.

In love or not.

Natasha has never loved a good practice fight more.

**Author's Note: I think this may be my favorite of all the pieces of this story. I really do like repetition and fragments, no matter how much my English teacher may hate them. Sorry if it felt like too much to you; you can complain to me all about it in the form of a review. And I really do love reviews. They mean a lot to me, as does the fact that you are reading this and my stories right now.**

** You are magnificent,**

** -When In Doubt, Smile**


	5. A Day Off

Disclaimer: The Avengers own Marvel. Or something like that… (Because you know it's true.)

A Day Off

Natasha loves the chance to relax, to have a day off. The Avengers are going out for shwarma, _again_. She's not quite sure what it is with their little group and that specific food. Everyone swears it's not nostalgia, but at heart none of them believe themselves or each other. The small shwarma joint they frequently visit reminds them of a good day. After they had saved Manhattan they had all been exhausted and ready to sleep for a week, but there was also the marvelous feeling that comes with the knowledge that you've accomplished something you've worked hard for. That's the feeling Natasha is certain the Avengers are trying to recreate when they go to get shwarma.

And quite frankly, she doesn't complain.

It's fun for her to get to spend time with her friends. She enjoys seeing and attempting to understand whatever it is that Bruce has been working on. She laughs as she watches Steve try to explain modern technology to Thor (she also always whispers to Clint that she's certain that they are the very definition of "the blind leading the blind".) Tony consistently has some smart and sarcastic comments that he wants to use on the team. Pepper and Jane try to pull her into "girl discussions" and quite honestly, Natasha would be lying if she said she didn't appreciate the normalcy that comes from these conversations. And Clint, Clint just holds her hand the whole time.

Yes, when she thinks about it, there is nothing more that she loves than a day off with her best friends.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading my story! I love the word "shwarma" and reviews. If you can use the word "shwarma" in a review you will get points. It was fun to sort of analyze (very quickly) Natasha's relationship with all the different Avengers and their plus-ones. I hope you liked it.

Have a brilliant day,

-When In Doubt, Smile


	6. And One Thing Clint Taught Her to Love

Disclaimer: Have Natasha and Clint kissed yet? When they do, I will own Avengers. Until then, Marvel gets to keep the rights.

And One Thing Clint Taught Her To Love

Her hair is in disarray. Her head hurts beyond belief. She is soaked to the bone. Her make-up from the mission is smeared all along her face. Her nails are cutting the palms of her hands as she unconsciously curls and uncurls her hands. And she has never hated herself more.

All Natasha can hear are screams and sobs. She's no longer sure what screams are real and what are simply her mind bringing back old memories. Everything, everything that she is, that she was, that she ever will be is condensed to the sound of people begging for mercy. That's all she is. Screams and blood and horror and justice and betrayal and hurt and alone and scared.

With a scream meant to drown out the millions that are sound out below her, Natasha hurls herself across the room, tearing the curtains as she tries to pull them closed. She may be forced to hear the people below, but she does not have to see them as well. The curtains falling on top of her, she curls up in the corner, sobbing as she realizes for the first time the enormity of all the horrors that she has committed. That she has destroyed whole families, endless futures, hopeful dreams. Natasha Romanoff for the first time sees herself as the monster that she actually is that she believes she will always be. And it makes her shake and sob and pull her hair out. How could she have been so blind to the atrocities that she has committed? How could she have ever believed that she had wiped her ledger clean of the red that would always stain it?

She does not realize how loudly she has been screaming until he walks in. Dressed in black just like her, tall, and proud. She cannot even bear to look at him; she is so ashamed of what she has done. He doesn't ask what is wrong. He doesn't hesitantly walk towards her. He doesn't sit of the bed and beckon to her. He strides up to her little corner of the world and sits beside her, placing an arm around her shoulder and hugging her. She cries and wishes for a tomorrow that could be free from the errors of yesterday. They rest like that for hours, she's not really sure of the exact length of time, but it's dark and the screams and sirens have abated and been replaced by the sound of silence when Clint leans over and gently places a kiss on the top of Natasha's head.

It's like waking up after a long nightmare. She shakes and moans and looks around like she's trying to remember where she is and who she is. She is Natasha Romanoff. She has no parents. She works for SHIELD. She is in Budapest. She came for a mission. The mission is complete. She loves snow and ballet. She relishes the feel of a warm bed and the exhaustion that comes after a good fight. She's going to eat shwarma with her friends when she gets back. She is not alone in the world. There is someone sitting next to her who loves her. Clint loves her enough to teach her to love herself.

When Natasha comes back from her second mission in Budapest she loves six things. Snow. Ballet. A warm bed. A good fight. A day off with her friends. And herself.

Author's Note: IT'S DONE! Now I'm probably never going to write another multi-chapter fic ever again. (At least until I forget how random my brain is and that I can't stick to one fandom to SAVE MY LIFE.) It was fun guys. I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading and for caring enough to review (hint, hint). I have gotten tons of favorites and follows and I would like to say thank you to those individuals who liked what I wrote. A special thank you out to those who reviewed. You all rock! Once again, I hope you all enjoyed and let me know which piece was your favorite in a review!

Now go watch Avengers!

-When In Doubt, Smile


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